such a shit person. I feel like a crap mum, and just an all round fucking loser... lol its always about me isnt it.
We;re spending £30 on gas a week to keep us warm ( twce a day) and its just depressing me now, cause its like, either we eat or we're warm theres no happy medium and its making me feel down. I went upstairs a moment ago- to check on Kole, whos poorly again, no doubt down to this freezing fucking house, and his hands were freezing, as if he'd been outside, i feel like a horrible mum, how could i bring a baby into the world and not even keep hiim warm? Its disgusting.
I want to work to prove im not a scummy little girl who goes out getting pregnant and producing offspring that i cant afford to keep; but i feel right now i'm only hurting myself to prove a point to people who dont really care and will think what they want to think anyway- it works out im £40 better off... but if you include extra childcare costs, busfare and council tax, it works out we're just the same now and i dont see my boy- i do however get that hes benefiting from nursery so that i dont mind tbh, but i just feel like whats the point? why am i trying? I;m only hurting the ones i love for my ego. Which is pathetic.
I'm such a whiney little bitch.
Sorry x
2 comments:
Not whiney at all! I think you make a valid point, but you know what? You gotta stop beating yourself up about making a change in the life of you family because that's only gonna work against you. Sure Kole is cold, but, he's happy: he has a mum and dad who love him very much and he's wrapped up snug! Don't let pride stand in the way of a good night's sleep: if you need help, ask for it - life is a little short sometimes Amie....
hey:) thanks, feeling alot better now, i think kole being poorly again depressed me , felt it was a bit like my fault- but thank you:) im glad that you dont think im daft. :) xx
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